June and July Top Ten

This will be June's Top Ten and July's Top Ten all in one! I am resourceful.

20. My sweet friend Jacki came by my house and Weston noticed for the first time that her belly is pregnant (eight months). He said, "Do you have a baby in there?" She said, "Yes, I do." He said, "Is it Logan?" (Logan is her youngest child. He's 2.)

19. Abby was helping Bastian think up a user name for his Webkinz. This is a name that must be typed in every time you use your Webkinz. It cannot be changed. They came down and told me what Bastian's user name was. It is oooooppktyy. What??!!!!! Abby explained that when we were trying to think up a user name for hers....sooo many names were taken. Princess was taken, fairy was taken...you know the obvious "girl" user names. So she thought that oooooppktyy wouldn't be taken. She was right. In order to remember it I made it into a storyline. It goes like this, "Oh, oh, oh, oh , OH..... pee pee Katie! Why? Why?" Now even Weston knows Bastian's user name.

18. Weston calls lasagna, "mazanya."

17. I had just finished chopping cucumbers, tomatoes, and green onion for a salad that is popular in Rob's family. I added the mayonnaise and Bastian said, "That will make it delightful, right Mom?" RIGHT!

16. One Sunday after church Rob was helping me load the kids in the van before getting into his car to go home (we drove separate because we need to get to church early to get a bench). He said, "The last one home gets to spank bottoms." We pulled out of the parking lot and turned on a side street and waited for Rob to pass. The kids could hardly contain themselves. THEY wanted to be the ones doing the spanking. We waited until he couldn't see us and drove home to find that he was not in the driveway! We had to go around the block a few times before he relented to let us win....this time.

15. Uncle Joe was living with us for a while. He came upstairs and a pungent smell followed. I found out that he had been working out in his clothes and had not washed them for days. He wreaked of sweat and mildew. It was making me sick to my stomach. I told him, "Joe, you stink so bad, I'm going to throw up!" Weston ran downstairs and came up with a throw up bowl for me.

14. The kids and I were getting into a hot van. I turned on the A/C but it still hadn't cooled the van yet. Weston asked, "Is the ABC on?"

13. Abby trying her hand at a little manipulation was complaining that she NEVER gets to ride her bike in the front of the house on the road. After futile attempts of asking, re-asking, re-re-asking on and on she said, "Maybe we should just give my bike away." I called her bluff and she wanted to renegotiate. Smart girl.

12. Hayden was putting the dishes away out of the dishwasher and was singing a self-written song. While putting away a knife he sang to an unknown tune, "If I slip, I will die and then I won't live to tell the stooooory." I said, "What story?" He said smiling, "The story of the knives. It's easy making up songs."

11. While hiking the Y Bastian asked seriously, "Is the Y made of ice cream?" I said, "No." He said, "Oh, it looks like it."

10. Rob and I were talking on the phone to each other when Weston walked in the room. Rob said, "Let me talk to him." I put Weston on and I heard Rob say, "Hello, Weston this is Santa. (in the summer!) What do you want for Christmas?" Weston's face was so serious. He said, "a bike." Santa asked what color of bike. He said, "a spiderman bike." Then his face softened and he said, "Dad?" Rob laughed and laughed and then Weston laughed and laughed. He said, "Dad tricked me."

9. I killed a wasp in our house and put it in the toilet. I forgot to flush it down. Hayden entered the bathroom and said, "There's a wasp in the toilet!" I explained to him what happened and he said relieved, "I thought there was a wasp's nest in the bathroom and I thought, 'I'm never going in there for the rest of my life.'"

8. I was in the kitchen getting ready to make dinner. Rob was on the couch watching me putter around the kitchen. Rob said, "If I were on the Atkins diet, you'd be a big, juicy steak."

7.While making jam Weston looked into the bucket of sugar and said, "This has sparkles in it." I peered inside the bucket and saw the shiny sugar crystals....ahhh to see the world through the eyes of a three year old.

6.While straining the seeds out of the raspberry puree for the jam the kids wondered if it would be completely seedless. I said, "Only a few fall through the holes." Abby said seriously, "Only if I fall through the holes?"

5. We noticed while lighting fireworks that the manufacturer names weren't very original. They had names like desert flower, flower fountain, flower this and flower that. Half way through Rob began renaming them. These were some of our favorites: Death to All--at this name Bastian scooted his chair all the way back to the garage seriously thinking it would be a BIG one. Then there was: Bastian, I'm Going to Eat You (which had a similar effect on Bastian), Chicken Broccoli Bake, Migraine Inducer, and my favorite firework: Get Your Pajamas On and Go to Bed.

4. I made sandwiches for lunch and Hayden spoke with love toward his sandwich. He looked it over saying very commentator-like, "It's a yummy, delicious sandwich....toasted turkey, cheese, tomato, lettuce and pickles."

3. There was a storm brewing outside. We had seen lightning and everyone was told to stay indoors. Abby opened the sliding glass door to Weston's shock. She gave her left over hamburger to the dog and closed the door. Hayden said like a true tease, "Abby, did you know that meat attracts lightning?" Abby turned quickly and asked in fear, "Mom, does meat attract lightning?"

2. In an attempt to get out of going to church Bastian walked up to me in my bathroom and said, "Mom, I was just coughing a lot in the rocking chair." Sorry, buddy, I'm too smart for that one.

1. At a family reunion Weston saw a white haired, wrinkled woman. Wide-eyed and without taking his eyes off from her he said, "Mom, is that a witch?" I laughed and said, "No, that's a grandma." While eating he stared relentlessly at her. I said, "Weston, what are you doing?" He said, "I'm looking at the.....(long pause)....grandma."