February 2009 Top Ten

10. At dinner one evening Weston put Parmesan cheese on his spaghetti for the first time. After tasting it he said disgusted, "I don't like garbage-on cheese."

9. Abby was talking to her friend, Brooke, about her good friend, Lucy, when she said, "I got to go to Lucy's funeral." Brooke looked confused until Abby immediately corrected herself saying, "I mean baptism."

8. Weston, arguing why he should be allowed to do something, said, "Do you know why I want to do this? Because I WANT TO."

7. Hayden was perusing an RC Willey add when he exclaimed, "Whoa! I never realized how much money things cost. I mean, everything is SO MUCH MONEY!"

6. I explained to Bastian that cheese gets old and hard when you leave it out and he questioned, "Would it get wrinkles in it too?"

5. Wanting to change our family vehicle (minivan) Weston said, "Next time let's get rid of our car and get a garbage truck that takes garbage."

4. Bastian was trying to find someone to play with one day. He called one friend and that friend couldn't play. He sat looking at the ward list ready to pick another friend to call when he announced his next candidate, "I'm going to call the bishop." I said, "You can't call the bishop." He said, "But I LIKE the bishop."

3. After our family returned home from a fun evening at the Woods' house Weston said, "Let's go again to the ....uh, I don't remember......the Bricks' house?"

2. We used to have two chocolate Labrador Retrievers, Toby and Turk. We found them new homes due to their chewing, digging, destroying, and pooping. The kids HATED the chore of poop collecting. One day while driving down the road Weston saw a dog and got a brilliant idea, "Let's get a Turk that doesn't poop, " he said. "They don't make those," I said smiling at his adorable idea. Later I realized my answer was wrong. They DO make those. They're called Webkinz.

1. After dinner one night Hayden said, "I predicted the future today." I asked him what he had predicted. He said there is a boy at school who is bad at thinking up insults. The two things he calls people are "poo" or "bum." Hayden said that today during lunch the boy wanted to make a trade for something in Hayden's lunch. When Hayden refused to trade, the boy went to call him a name. Hayden said to the boy, "Wait, wait, you're going to call me a poo." The boy said, "No, I was going to call you a.....fire poo." Hayden said, "Then Jacob (Hayden's friend) pointed out that he STILL called me a poo." The boy didn't like that Hayden and Jacob were right. Then Hayden said of himself, "I am good at thinking of insults. Jacob says I'm even better at annoying people, and I'm proud of that."

Since I didn't get very many wit-filled nuggets from Abby this month, I thought I would add a couple from the past.

September 2005 Abby at age 4 saw a beautiful dress at the store. She exclaimed, "That is so pretty I can't even move."

Later that same year she said about her two year old brother, Bastian, "That naughty boy keeps wrecking my life."

January 2009 Top Ten

10. While eating peaches Hayden said, "I love soooo many fruits. They are lush and juicy."

9. Sitting at the counter for lunch Bastian asked, "Can I have some Crystal Light?" I said, "No." Somehow hoping that "no" really meant "yes" Bastian asked, "Is it opposite day?"

8. Weston was putting his shirt on inside out when I said, "Weston, do you want me to help you?" He said, "No. I put it on, then I take it off, then I put it back on again." He had it all figured out. I said, "Weston, you are so smart!" He beamed with self-confidence. I wondered when he had figured that out. I didn't teach him. Did he learn it while I was busy doing something else? It reminded me of times when I have gained confidence in my abilities by figuring things out without someone coming in and rescuing me.

7. Rob told the kids that he tricked me into marrying him. One of his tricks was that he wore a skinny suit when we were dating (meaning that he was thin) and then questioned, "Where is that suit, I wonder?"

6. Abby was trying hard to make a realistic sounding wookie noise--the sound that Chewbacca makes, with her seven year old, high pitched vocal chords. After one excruciating sound she said, "That's the sound of a mad wookie, a VERY mad wookie that is crying at the same time."

5. One morning Rob left for the airport for a very short one day trip to Phoenix. Unbeknownst to me his flight had been so delayed that he decided not to go to Phoenix after all. Later that evening I came down the stairs to get dinner ready, and after I came around the corner he jumped out from the mudroom yelling, "BOO!" For that one split second before recognition set in, my terrified brain registered a large, strange man in my kitchen...only for it to register a split second later that it was indeed MY large, strange man. My heart barely made it through the experience.

4. During dinner some chicken fell out of Weston's burrito and he said, "Whoa. I didn't see that coming."

3. Weston was playing outside in our backyard in the snow and Bastian and I were in the kitchen when we heard a loud noise coming from the outside. I said to Bastian, "What is Weston doing out there?" Guessing, Bastian said, "Having a snowball fight with the house?" Bastian is full of wit AND sweetness.

2. Part One: Logan Hansbrow, a sweet two year old, was over at our house playing one day when he came to me smiling saying, "I want chocolate." I looked in the the pantry to check and said, "We don't have any chocolate. It's all gone." I turned to see him run to the couch, bury his head in his adorably pudgy arms, and start sobbing. Lesson one: Chocolate equals happiness.

Part Two: Hayden, the considerate 10 year old that he is, consoled Logan and offered to let him play with his Nerf gun. Feeling interested, Logan stopped crying and took the Nerf gun. While looking at the gun, it misfired and hit him on the forehead just above his eyebrow at VERY close range to which Logan again started to cry. Lesson two: Just when things get bad, they often take a turn for the worse.

1. I was crying about something that had touched me and Weston seeing the tears streaming down my face said, "Get those back in your eyes, cause then you'll stop crying."

Two quotes from family members worth mentioning that made me laugh:

Rob's sister, Jessica, and I were talking about taking good pictures when she said, "A picture says 1000 better words than I can write."

My mom likes to do sealings in the temple even though my father passed away 6 years ago. On one of her temple visits to do sealings she entered the room by herself to see three married couples there ready to do sealings. Thinking that her husband was not far behind her the sealer asked, "Where is your partner?" My mom replied, "On the other side of the veil."

December 2008 Top Ten

10. Weston was playing with his good friend, Isaac Bradshaw when I heard him making some pretty interesting sound effects. "Chshshsh, I'm woman Spiderman." When I questioned him as to the sound, he said that he was turning from man Spiderman to woman Spiderman.

9. Abby thinking about her future said, "I want 4 or 5 kids because that's how much I think I can handle."

8. One day after picking Bastian up from kindergarten he was anxious to get home. We were dropping off the other carpool children (Ryen Hansbrow and Kye Bradshaw) when he was coaxing me to hurry saying, "I am TEN ELEPHANTS HUNGRY!"

7. Every time Weston sees a commercial, he runs into the master bedroom and tries to drag us to the TV saying, "I want that big dinosaur for Christmas, yeah," or, "I want that truck with a merry mote (remote) for Christmas," or "For Christmas I want those helicopters that fly with merry motes, yeah." He often says "yeah" after making a statement. It is the cutest thing.

6. Abby had just thrown up and was looking VERY pale. Despite her feelings of nausea, she pulled out a little humor and said while raising her arms very monster-like, "I'm the sicky ghost. I'm going to get you sick. Ooooohhhhh." Abby is a joy to be around even when she's sick.

5. While making dinner we were having a discussion about the different roles of men and women. Holding the priesthood came up and Hayden said of me, "You're never going to hold the priesthood." I told him he was right. Rob, pointing to himself said, "Sometimes she holds a BIG part of the priesthood--an overweight part of the priesthood."

4. Weston rubbing his leg said, "I have a headache on my leg."

3. After much persuasion from Abby, I entrusted her with the secret that I got Rob and ipod for Christmas to which she said, "I CAN'T WAIT to tell Dad." I fell for it and gave her a look of shock and disbelief. Laughing she said, "Just kidding, just kidding!"

2. We needed to run to the store and I told Weston to go get his boots and coat on. After a couple of minutes I said, "Okay, let's go." I rounded the corner to the mudroom to find Weston on all fours with boots on his feet AND his hands. "We've got to go," I said, to which he replied, "But I'm a doggy."

1. After apologizing to Hayden for raising my voice he said, "You're a good mom but just like the stock market goes low sometimes, so do you."

November Top Ten

10. Abby was having a hard time with the behavior of a friend of hers. We were talking about how being a good friend means loving that friend despite their weakness and setting a good example of how to treat others by communicating with her. Hayden deciding to use his communication skills said, “Yeah, Abby, I still love you even though you sing all the time.”

9. After talking about what age Hayden will be when he becomes a deacon, Abby asked, “Is Hayden going to get the Melchizedek priesthood or the Ironic priesthood?”

8. Hayden rebuking Rob for joking about Grandma LeBaron yelling at him, “Grandma is too sweet to yell. Grandmas don’t yell very much anyway… BUT MOMS DO!” Thank you very much. I refuse to give up hope that I will one day make a very, very wonderful and peaceable Grandma. Until that time, I will CONTINUE to work on my ability to give soft answers.

7. Weston telling me what he wanted to eat, “I want a cheese girled sandwich.” (grilled cheese)

6. On Bastian’s letter homework he practices writing the letter and then draws 5 pictures below that begin with that letter. On this particular week the letter was B. He drew two boys. The boy with hair was labeled Bastian, the bald boy was labeled Ben. He said, “Do you know which kind of Ben? Ben Mullins!”

5. Trying to be somewhere on time, Hayden was coaxing me out of the bathroom saying, “Mom, your hair looks beautiful….now LET’S GO!” Ahhh, a husband in training.

4. I picked what had been a favorite book of Weston’s from the shelf to read to him before bed. It was a Dora the Explorer learn your colors book. Weston looked at the book in my hands and said, “I’m not a baby anymore.” Surprised I said, “We don’t have to read Dora. Go pick out a different book.” He stood at the shelf, pulled out a book saying, “How ‘bout Elmo?”

3. As we were eating eggs, Rob told the kids, “Eggs are protein. They make you strong.” Abby likes red sauce on her eggs. She said, “What does red sauce do?” I said, “It does absolutely nothing for you.” Hayden interjected, “Except entertain your taste buds.”

2. An elementary school in our area has 4-H classes available after school. They include a cooking class that one of her friends that goes to that school attends. We can’t attend the 4-H classes there because our school gets out 30 minutes later than theirs. Abby was distraught and kept asking why our school doesn’t have 4-H. The only answer I could give her was, “I don’t know.” One day Abby came home from school and told me that she asked her teacher if she could go to the bathroom. Instead of going to the bathroom, she went straight to the principal’s office to ask her this important question that was weighing on her 7 year old mind. “I would like to get 4-H at our school. Why does Larson Elementary school have 4-H and ours doesn’t?” The principal explained that the other school had received a grant and said that she had tried to get 4-H at Spanish Oaks Elementary but we don't have the money to do so. Abby was satisfied with that answer and happily went back to class.

1. After recovering from the stomach flu, Bastian said, “When you throw up and you don’t have any food in you, it’s kind of fun.”

Other things worth mentioning:

Nov. 2007 While at Aunt Krista’s house Bastian poured out the last of the cereal in the Malt o Meal bag. It left a heap of crumbs in his bowl. Bastian said, “Hey, Mom, my cereal looks like a sandy beach.”

In 2007 the kids and I went to Arizona (several times, I’m sure) to visit Aunt Shelly. On this particular trip I packed the van the night before (the DVD player was all set up and everything) and woke up before the kids to make the last preparations. I was completely prepared right down to the individual sippy cups WITH ice for each child sitting in the cup holders by their designated seats (boosters, and car seats). About nine and a half hours into the trip Hayden tells me that he is sooooo thirsty. I tell him we’ll have to wait until we get to Shelly’s house for a drink. He complains that he hasn't had anything to drink the entire trip. He hadn't noticed the sippy cup just inches away from his hand. When he took a drink he was disgusted because it didn't have ice. He told me that I had "wasted my time" getting water because I didn't tell him it was there. I was floored! Nine and a half hours in a van with four children and no other adults is enough to send your head spinning in the first place. I let him know that he sounded like he was spoiled! I gave him an ear full of an ungrateful child speech and said that next time I won't get him water at all. He said that next time he would get his water with ice himself. I said seething, "GREAT!" Naively he said, "Mom, will you remind me?"

October Top Thirteen

13. During FHE one night Weston was making up a far fetched story that he claimed REALLY happened. Rob decided to go with it and added a few additions. Rob said pointing to our backyard, “Do you remember when that big bird came and carried you?” Weston said, “Yeah, he carried me with his feet. He flew me to my statement and I said, 'weeeeeeee.' Did you see me?”

12. Abby brought home a new friend (Kourtney Jackson) from school. They came in while I was sweeping the kitchen floor and I greeted them. Abby whispered to her friend, “That’s our maid.”

11. I was so cold one day and couldn’t believe that Rob was actually hot. I asked him, “How could you be HOT?” He said, “I’m still storing heat that my body absorbed in July.”

10. On the 11 hour van ride home from Arizona, Abby was having a cute conversation with Gavin who is 7 months old. She commented that he has beautiful brown eyes and then added, “Maybe that is why Olivia wants to poke them out.” Olivia is 8 months old.

9. We gave our dog Toby to a family that wanted another lab, and we gave our dog Turk to a cowboy that lives on a farm. Wanting to see one of our dogs again, Bastian remembered an uncle that had visited our home earlier this year that said he liked our dogs. He said we should’ve given one of them to this uncle. When I inquired which uncle he was talking about he said, “I think his name was Uncle Blueberry. Do we have an Uncle Blueberry?” It took me a while, but I finally figured out that Bastian was talking about Uncle Barry.

8. While visiting Shelly’s house in Arizona we often found ourselves in their luxurious massage chair. It was very relaxing…except for one setting: percussion. Percussion feels just like it sounds—like it is trying to play your back like drums. It hurts, really. Abby was sitting in the massage chair and she put it on the awful setting and said with a hint of disdain, “Oh, persecution.”

7. Lawrence brought a talking Darth Vader mask to Shelly’s house one night. The kids loved it. They played with it for a few days. One morning someone pushed a button and James Earl Jones’ voice said, “You don’t know the power of the dark side.” From a far away room in the house I heard Weston’s little voice call out, “Yes, I do.”

6. Abby has been reading a couple of Little House on the Prairie books from the Library. One day Abby was telling me what had happened in one of the books. She said, “Mary and Laura were reciting Book of Mormon verses.” Actually, they were reciting Bible verses.

5. My children love playing with k’nex. They build all sorts of things with them. The only problem is keeping them intact with a Weston in the house. Hayden came upon Weston after he had wrecked Abby’s k'nex car. Abby was coming down the stairs to see the damage when Weston said, “Hayden, I need to hide.”

4. After returning home from school Hayden announced that he was hungry. My new helping my children become more independent self said, “Feel free to get something to eat.” He said, “I loved it when you used to be my servant.”

3. We were leaving to go camping for the last time this year when Hayden exclaimed, “I forgot my stuffed animals!” I was shocked! Since when did my 10 year old boy need to take stuffed animals camping? He gave up his blanket at four and stopped carrying stuffed animals around about the same time. I looked at him incredulously saying, “You want your stuffed animals?” He said, “Yeah, I want to shoot them.” I smiled thinking, “Ahhh, there you are, Hayden.”

2. After the kids asked Rob what he was going to be for Halloween, Rob replied, “I wanted to be a skinny person for Halloween, but I couldn’t fit into the costume.”

1. Bastian came home from kindergarten explaining to me that he can’t tell if his P.E. teacher is a girl or a boy. Yikes! Later in the month while at the school for the Halloween costume parade we saw his teacher down the hall. He pointed the teacher out as his P.E. teacher and I could see why he couldn’t tell the gender. I said, “So you can’t tell if your teacher is a girl or a boy?” He said, “Should we go ask her?”

September Top Ten

10. I asked Hayden to go take a shower. Showering is not one of his favorite pastimes. I asked him, “Why is it important to be clean?” Hayden replied, “So you can get a wife?” I said, “Showering is important so you don’t stink.” He said, “You could just use Febreze.” Then in his commentator voice he said, “CAN the shower and get Febreze today!”

9. Hayden was talking about how fun it would be to have a mansion for a home. (We already live in a mansion as far as I’m concerned) I said that I wouldn’t like it because it would require a lot of cleaning. Hayden said we could get a maid. I explained to him that this life isn’t about acquiring riches and hiring other people to clean up after us. I said if the Lord blesses us with riches I want to be able to help others--I don’t want to live in my riches. If I need help cleaning every once in a while I can hire someone to help me, but I want our family to be able to care for the things that we have. Abby said, “I don’t want a maid.” Thinking she had understood the importance of work and taking care of our own things I asked why. She said, “Because if I got in trouble I’d be embarrassed in front of the maid.”

8. Weston after a bath said, “My skin is….is……loose.”

7. The kids had a particularly hard time being reverent during Sacrament meeting one week and Rob and I had to remind them quite a few times to be quiet. While preparing dinner Rob was telling me how the Bishop had asked us (during the Sunday school lesson that he taught) to make reverence a priority in Sacrament meeting. Feeling guilty Hayden said, “He asked US specifically?” To Hayden’s relief the Bishop asked ALL families to be reverent, not just ours.

6. After throwing Hayden’s Nintendo DS down the stairs Weston said to me, “Sorry I threw Hayden’s Nintendo DS down the stairs. I forgive you.” Note to self: teach Weston what forgiveness is.

5. Rob teasing about starting yet another fad diet proclaimed one morning, “I’m starting a cleanse tomorrow.” Thinking he was serious I said forcefully, “No you’re NOT.” To which he replied, “Yes I am. I am drinking nothing but KFC grease.”

4. Bastian searching his brain for the words bed skirt said, “a tutu?”

3. Hayden likes to play a game called smiley with Weston. Hayden made up the game. Weston doesn’t love to play. Hayden sits on Weston’s tummy while holding Weston’s arms up above his head. Hayden proceeds to smile in a VERY animated and annoying fashion, bobbing his head this way and that while approaching Weston’s face. Weston kicks his legs and yells, “No, not smiley….NOT SMILEY!!!!” Hayden loves to play.

2. Weston was sick. He heard me say he caught a flu bug. He pointed to his mouth and said, “Do I have bugs?” I said, “Yes, you have germ bugs that are making you sick.” He thought for a moment, no doubt thinking about all the nice bugs he had met this summer and said, “the germ bugs will say, ‘oops, sorry.’”

1. Weston wanted Hayden out of his way. Weston pushed Hayden and hit him and then said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.” Hayden now wants to try this technique.

August Top Ten

10. We were attending the Foote family reunion and Weston (age 3) was sitting at the table eating his dinner when he saw Rob’s cousin, Jacki Pruett. He said to me, “I knew Jacki would be here. I knew everyone would be here. I’m so proud.”

9. Hayden and Bastian were arguing over zucchini bread. Hayden was saying how delicious it tastes. Bastian was saying how disgusting it tastes. Hayden said, “You used to like it when you were little. Now you don’t even remember what it tastes like.” He said, “Yes I do. It tastes like raw meat.” No wonder he doesn’t like it.

8. Bastian said this a couple of months ago but I am including it in August. I was telling him how important it is to attend church because it is there that we partake of the sacrament and feel the Spirit. Bastian said, “I don’t feel the Spirit at church. All I ever feel is hot.”

7. Abby lecturing Bastian on his cheating said, “Bastian, people don’t like it when you cheat……. Unless they get $1000 for it.”

6. Weston pointing out some horses in a field said, “Horseys don’t eat boys. They eat grass.”

5. We asked Hayden to look after Weston for a few minutes while camping up Santaquin Canyon. Hayden grappling with Weston through shrieks of 3 year old protest yelled, “He’s TOO much for me!”

4. Hayden after hand feeding a deer while camping said, “There is such a thrill in feeding a deer.”

3. My niece, Libby (age 4), came into Jessica’s tent and asked what she was doing. Jessica said, “I’m talking to Rachel.” Libby said, “You’re talking to an angel?”

2. While watching a deer that came into our camp I said to my niece, Libby, “Do you know who made that deer?” She replied, “Santa?” I smiled saying, “No.” She tried again, “Jesus?” Yep!

1. I asked Bastian to do a small task and he didn’t listen. I asked again and he still didn’t move. Finally I got a bit stern and he got up and did the job. I thanked him and said, “You are a good helper. Thank you for doing that. Next time I would like you to get up the first time I ask you to do something. Bastian replied, “Like Alma?” I was caught a little off guard. I thought for a second and said, “Yes, like Alma.” In our family scripture study we were at Alma 8 when an angel appeared to Alma after preaching in the wicked land of Ammonihah. The angel told him to return to the land of Ammonihah after they had rejected him. The scripture said that, “after Alma had received his message from the angel of the Lord he returned speedily to the land of Ammonihah.” And I thought no one was listening during scripture study! Way to go Bastian!

June and July Top Ten

This will be June's Top Ten and July's Top Ten all in one! I am resourceful.

20. My sweet friend Jacki came by my house and Weston noticed for the first time that her belly is pregnant (eight months). He said, "Do you have a baby in there?" She said, "Yes, I do." He said, "Is it Logan?" (Logan is her youngest child. He's 2.)

19. Abby was helping Bastian think up a user name for his Webkinz. This is a name that must be typed in every time you use your Webkinz. It cannot be changed. They came down and told me what Bastian's user name was. It is oooooppktyy. What??!!!!! Abby explained that when we were trying to think up a user name for hers....sooo many names were taken. Princess was taken, fairy was taken...you know the obvious "girl" user names. So she thought that oooooppktyy wouldn't be taken. She was right. In order to remember it I made it into a storyline. It goes like this, "Oh, oh, oh, oh , OH..... pee pee Katie! Why? Why?" Now even Weston knows Bastian's user name.

18. Weston calls lasagna, "mazanya."

17. I had just finished chopping cucumbers, tomatoes, and green onion for a salad that is popular in Rob's family. I added the mayonnaise and Bastian said, "That will make it delightful, right Mom?" RIGHT!

16. One Sunday after church Rob was helping me load the kids in the van before getting into his car to go home (we drove separate because we need to get to church early to get a bench). He said, "The last one home gets to spank bottoms." We pulled out of the parking lot and turned on a side street and waited for Rob to pass. The kids could hardly contain themselves. THEY wanted to be the ones doing the spanking. We waited until he couldn't see us and drove home to find that he was not in the driveway! We had to go around the block a few times before he relented to let us win....this time.

15. Uncle Joe was living with us for a while. He came upstairs and a pungent smell followed. I found out that he had been working out in his clothes and had not washed them for days. He wreaked of sweat and mildew. It was making me sick to my stomach. I told him, "Joe, you stink so bad, I'm going to throw up!" Weston ran downstairs and came up with a throw up bowl for me.

14. The kids and I were getting into a hot van. I turned on the A/C but it still hadn't cooled the van yet. Weston asked, "Is the ABC on?"

13. Abby trying her hand at a little manipulation was complaining that she NEVER gets to ride her bike in the front of the house on the road. After futile attempts of asking, re-asking, re-re-asking on and on she said, "Maybe we should just give my bike away." I called her bluff and she wanted to renegotiate. Smart girl.

12. Hayden was putting the dishes away out of the dishwasher and was singing a self-written song. While putting away a knife he sang to an unknown tune, "If I slip, I will die and then I won't live to tell the stooooory." I said, "What story?" He said smiling, "The story of the knives. It's easy making up songs."

11. While hiking the Y Bastian asked seriously, "Is the Y made of ice cream?" I said, "No." He said, "Oh, it looks like it."

10. Rob and I were talking on the phone to each other when Weston walked in the room. Rob said, "Let me talk to him." I put Weston on and I heard Rob say, "Hello, Weston this is Santa. (in the summer!) What do you want for Christmas?" Weston's face was so serious. He said, "a bike." Santa asked what color of bike. He said, "a spiderman bike." Then his face softened and he said, "Dad?" Rob laughed and laughed and then Weston laughed and laughed. He said, "Dad tricked me."

9. I killed a wasp in our house and put it in the toilet. I forgot to flush it down. Hayden entered the bathroom and said, "There's a wasp in the toilet!" I explained to him what happened and he said relieved, "I thought there was a wasp's nest in the bathroom and I thought, 'I'm never going in there for the rest of my life.'"

8. I was in the kitchen getting ready to make dinner. Rob was on the couch watching me putter around the kitchen. Rob said, "If I were on the Atkins diet, you'd be a big, juicy steak."

7.While making jam Weston looked into the bucket of sugar and said, "This has sparkles in it." I peered inside the bucket and saw the shiny sugar crystals....ahhh to see the world through the eyes of a three year old.

6.While straining the seeds out of the raspberry puree for the jam the kids wondered if it would be completely seedless. I said, "Only a few fall through the holes." Abby said seriously, "Only if I fall through the holes?"

5. We noticed while lighting fireworks that the manufacturer names weren't very original. They had names like desert flower, flower fountain, flower this and flower that. Half way through Rob began renaming them. These were some of our favorites: Death to All--at this name Bastian scooted his chair all the way back to the garage seriously thinking it would be a BIG one. Then there was: Bastian, I'm Going to Eat You (which had a similar effect on Bastian), Chicken Broccoli Bake, Migraine Inducer, and my favorite firework: Get Your Pajamas On and Go to Bed.

4. I made sandwiches for lunch and Hayden spoke with love toward his sandwich. He looked it over saying very commentator-like, "It's a yummy, delicious sandwich....toasted turkey, cheese, tomato, lettuce and pickles."

3. There was a storm brewing outside. We had seen lightning and everyone was told to stay indoors. Abby opened the sliding glass door to Weston's shock. She gave her left over hamburger to the dog and closed the door. Hayden said like a true tease, "Abby, did you know that meat attracts lightning?" Abby turned quickly and asked in fear, "Mom, does meat attract lightning?"

2. In an attempt to get out of going to church Bastian walked up to me in my bathroom and said, "Mom, I was just coughing a lot in the rocking chair." Sorry, buddy, I'm too smart for that one.

1. At a family reunion Weston saw a white haired, wrinkled woman. Wide-eyed and without taking his eyes off from her he said, "Mom, is that a witch?" I laughed and said, "No, that's a grandma." While eating he stared relentlessly at her. I said, "Weston, what are you doing?" He said, "I'm looking at the.....(long pause)....grandma."

May Top Ten

10. I overheard Bastian singing to himself. It began, “George to the world…..”

9. When Weston was a baby I would find binkies in every place imaginable. Upon finding lost binkies I would put them in my bra. I know, not one of my BEST ideas. He would often reach in there to try to find one. Once he did it to a woman in Nursery. He has not had a binky for over a year. This last month he pulled the top of my shirt down and peered inside saying, “You don’t have binkies in here?” Yep, you’re right, Weston, not for a year now.

8. We went four-wheeling up Diamond Fork Canyon. We had a great time. After the ride Hayden asked curiously, “Why does Utah have so many fork names in it?”
Rob answered, “Because Utah was settled by really hungry people.”

7. I was rinsing off dishes and looked out my kitchen window into the back yard to see my newly potty trained boy with his pants down pooping by the trampoline. I ran out and explained to him that we do not poop outside. We poop in the toilet. He said, “Turk poops outside. I said, “Yes, Turk (our lab) poops outside, but we poop in the toilet.” Concerned, Weston said, “We should buy him a toilet.”

6. Abby was realizing that her cousin, Sarah, was going to be 12 this year. She said to me, “Sarah gets to be baptized.” Just as I was about to say, “No, that’s when you turn eight,” she added, “…for those dead people.” I guess she does know what she is talking about.

5. We had a Primary activity Day that was fabulous. It was entitled “Who’s Your Hero?” It was about what the meaning of a hero is and we got to meet different heroes from the scriptures. The definition of a hero is a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities--one of exalted moral character. In our time, kids think of heroes as basketball players, singer, actor etc. When in truth these are not heroes...they are idols. An idol is a person or thing devotedly or excessively admired. President Kimball said that we are an idolatrous people.We split up into 5 groups and had the kids walk through a time warp (which was a tunnel made of PVC pipe and draped with plastic with streamers of crepe paper hanging from it.—Thank you Julie Olson!) We went and visited different heroes from the scriptures who were some of the remarkable teachers/leaders in our ward dressed as their character. We had Nephi, Laman and Lemuel, Captain Moroni, Mary and Martha, Nephi and Lehi (the brothers), and Joseph Smith. It was so great. The Spirit was definitely present.

4. After the activity day and the clean-up I was loading my kids in the van. I kissed Bastian on the lips and started to spit in the parking lot. Sarah Bradshaw asked, “Are you okay?” I let her know, “I got boogers in my mouth and they're not mine.” Of course, Bastian thought it was funny.

3. I did Abby’s hair in a side bun. It started falling out as the day wore on. In desperation she said, “Mom, fix my bum!” It’s amazing the effect just one little letter can have.

2. We had an exterminator come to our home and spray for spiders. Uncle Joe lives with us right now and he got bit by a spider…I don’t know if he was at our house when he got bit, but a hobo spider was the culprit. Anyway, the man went outside to get the invoice. Weston followed him outside. I watched from the doorstep. The young man came back in and said, “He is telling me his secrets. So, he pooped outside.” I started laughing and the guys said, “He told me that we don’t poop outside, we poop in toilets.”

1. Rob was complaining about how rough his feet are getting now that he has been wearing sandals a lot. Hayden looked at Rob’s feet with disgust and said, “What is that white stuff on your feet?” Rob said, “I have leprosy.” Hayden said seriously, “Really?” Rob laughed and said, “No…I’m trying to make my feet look like horse hooves.” Hayden smiled and said, “You’re half way there.”

April Top Five

One of my bosom friends does a top ten every month. It is such a great idea that I too am going to incorporate it. This month there are 5 things that I have written down that are top ten quality.

5. Hayden getting in the van after school was out exclaimed, "Today was a nightmare! We had to dance with girls!"
You've got to love 4th grade square dancing.

4. Bastian has a shirt that says, "I make dirt look good." While riding in the truck I turned around and said, "Hey, Bastian, you make dirt look good." He looked down at his shirt and pointing to two spots said, "and jam, and gravy."

3. Abby has been having the hardest time practicing piano. One day while she was crying/wailing and was trying to convince me to let her quit piano I said to her, "You begged to be in dance and you quit dance every time we put you in it and you were so excited for piano and now you want to quit. It looks like you're getting really good at quitting." She sobbed, "Mommy, maybe that's one of my talents!"

2. After telling the kids that Rob was getting on an airplane to go to Washington I overheard Bastian tell his friend, "I hope he bees careful.....(pause).....when he jumps out with his parachute because if you don't do it right you can break your arm."
I had no idea that Bastian thought Rob jumped out of airplanes on all his business trips.

1. Getting ready to go to Zion National Park was a BIG job. Since we didn't know how all the parts of our trailer worked a wonderful man in our bishopric, Duane Williams, came to show us how to work everything. When he got to the sewage lines he said, "This one is the chunks. You take this cap off to empty it." He twisted the cap and sure enough that's where the chunks were and they fell out and landed right on his hand! Apparently the previous owner didn't empty it. Rob just about lost his lunch!

I have a few more great things that the kids have said in the past few months:

A cute little Hispanic girl, Shaleen, and her mom walked home with Hayden and Abby from school. Hayden entered the door when arriving home and said, "Shaleen was speaking jibberish in front of us to her mom." I let him know that jibberish was the Spanish language.

While traveling to Arizona Weston was looking for horses and trailers. While passing through a little town he spotted them both. At the next little town he only saw horses...no trailers. On the outskirts of town he exclaimed, "What da heck, where the trailer is?"

Weston was coughing and coughing and coughing. I looked at him with a concerned look on my face and he said, "Just kidding."

While gobbling up loads of eggs I said to the kids, "You guys have been eating up a storm." Weston said, "No, eggs."

While at Walmart Weston and Bastian wanted to ride the toy that takes quarters by the front door. I told them that it was a waste of money. A week later we were walking in a different store and walked by a slew of toys that take quarters. Weston inhaled deeply in excitement and said, "Look at the waste of monies!"

Hayden doesn't like to walk anywhere because he doesn't feel as safe as when he is on his bike. He said of his bike, "It's my defender, my friend, and my protector."

I asked, "What should we have for lunch?" Bastian said, "Wookie Cookies!" (from the star wars cookbook). I said, "Cookies aren't something you eat for lunch. They are a dessert." Bastian said, "Cookies are dessert?"Note to self: teach Bastian the difference between healthy food and junk food.